Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
Susan Jeffers’s Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway was pretty much the first self help book I ever read, and the reasons that brought me to it are quite embarrassing in many ways! I will be open with you and tell you that although I am an intelligent, capable, resourceful and at times wise individual, these qualities have not always enabled me to be as relaxed and happy about my life as I should be. Listen to this – I am academically gifted (I have a first class honours degree and a Masters degree), I am a published writer and have performed my work on stage, I have had a number of successful jobs and am now making a living from an Internet business which I started from scratch. I also enjoy the friendship of some pretty amazing people. But for a long time there was one thing which had been completely lacking in my life.
CONFIDENCE.
I am being serious – in spite of all my achievements, my success and my abilities, I was spending a large amount of my life being held back because I did not have the confidence to do certain things (speak to that person, apply for that job, leave that job, do something different that day) and I think it’s fair to say I have long been the victim of a terrible shyness at times over the years! Those who have seen me present to a room full of people would probably find this fascinating, but the truth is I have often done this through sheer will (although at times have felt totally comfortable – what I would later discover was a state of “flow” or being “in the zone”) – they should have seen how I felt inside when a complete stranger talked to me, or when I was sitting around a table hearing the buzz of conversation, terrified of speaking myself unless I said the wrong thing or made a fool of myself (and how many opportunities have I lost because it was far safer to hang on to my pride and my security by not taking a risk, not going outside my comfort zone, just plodding on thinking I was doing the best thing for myself by protecting myself from rejection and trouble.)
And I repeat, I run a successful business and people like me! And I could entertain such negative thoughts on a daily basis, and even find plenty of negativity in my situations – that person should have talked to me, it’s their fault, things didn’t happen quite right, it would have been better if, I should have done that. Even after working for 12 hours on my business I often berated myself for not having done enough, not putting enough effort in, and at the end of the day tried to find something extra I could do – because I felt that if I could only do a little more, everything would be all right, and then I meticulously planned the next day, then something happened to spoil my plans, and I experienced such a deep rage that all my plans had been wiped out. Even though not carrying my routine plans through that day would do me no significant harm (rationally I knew this), I felt enraged that my balance had been upset. I kicked things. I hit things. Yes, an educated and quiet, shy retiring person getting wound up in the privacy of my own home and office because the smallest things didn’t go as I needed them to go to feel secure in my routine…
Things came to a head one day when some particulararly bad (but in the end insignificant!) thing happened with my business – I got really mad and slipped into a really negative state of mind. Even though the worst outcome of it all was not really all that bad (I might use a few dollars), the fear and anxiety in my mind made it ten times worse!
I was pretty lost at that point in time. Something snapped in me and I knew if I carried on in this way it was never going to be satisfactory. I decided I would shut the computer off and get some books, as reading has always soothed me and helped me escape. I thought I could now use it to perhaps learn something. I got a pile of books, whose contents I will share with you over the weeks and months (and years – I am still developing and learning to help myself!), and also some audiobook self hypnosis recordings.
I had read such books and tried such recordings in the past, but I sensed one major difference in myself. This time, I wanted to change, and was willing to put in some effort. I think the major mistake some people make is that they think they will read the book or listen to the tape and there will be a magical transformation and it will be easy! There can be magic – but believe me it won’t work if you are thinking, “This is utter rubbish, it will never work…” Or “This is a con!” or even “I will read this and everything will magically change!” The last time I tried these were my thoughts, I thought I would give it a go, and if the book or tape changed me, fair enough. The difference this time was, I was determined that I would change myself, and needed help, which I think is a key to the self help principles I promote on this blog (self help is a tool – not a last resort or a magic cure – but a resource to help yourself!).
In any case, I am glad I shut off the computer that day and started my real work, the work of self-development, for from that day I have been growing from being an inhibited, shy, controlling, restricted and frustrated person into something I still haven’t found words to describe. The few days I have thus far spent working on my own development is worth all the twelve hour days I have or ever will put into my business!
I began with Susan Jeffers’s Feel The Fear And Do it Anyway. The title rather appealed to me as I realized there things I wanted to do and ways I wanted to be, but was afraid of getting there. My biggest fears included: Spending the rest of my life alone, spending the rest of my life with someone (fearing both equally – get that!), fear of my business failing, fear of not putting in enough time, fear of putting in too much time, fear of letting go and relaxing, fear of, fear of, fear of – I probably couldn’t finish listing all the things I feared if I sat here and typed all night long! So that was the first title I read, I suspended my disbelief, told myself I should take off my “Yes, but that’s stupid, if it was that easy why doesn’t everyone do it” head, and read it through, and couldn’t stop reading.
The book is not perfect, it is not a cure all, it may not be for everyone. I personally disliked the references to a higher power, although admittedly Susan does not let her religious beliefs become intrusive. Even as something of an agnostic and a humanist, even a cynic, perhaps, I was able to get enough tips and insights out of the book to feel a change begin to take place, with the author’s maddeningly simple commonsense solutions received gratefully by my commonsense radar. I am now eagerly reading and working through the companion book, as well as other titles, and all I can suggest is that if you are struggling with something, if you have fears, insecurities, and are not living the life you want to live, reading Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers will be of interest to you, and if you get even a quarter of what I got out of it, you will be amazed.
I honestly used to think popular psychology and self help books like this were utter rubbish. Humbly, I admit I was wrong, at least in this case, as I smilingly join the ranks of people whose lives Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway has helped to change 
If you are in the US, the following iTunes link will enable you to purchase the anabridged audiobook of Feal The Fear and Do It Anyway:
or on iTunes Uk with 12,000 audiobooks available HERE